So…..where shall I begin? There was a day when I wondered if I would ever fulfill my dreams in life. I started out with a good, solid plan, being raised by hard-working, sound-minded parents who believed in setting goals and working towards them. AND, quitting was not an option. Nevertheless, life has a way of interfering and if one is not steadfast in the pursuit of their dreams, one can get side-tracked and dreams can get derailed.
This is what happened to me. Much in life comes at a price–sometimes the price is much more than you would ever imagine it would cost. I’ve never regretted the family God blessed me to raise, but I’ve always had deep within my soul the desire and longing to fulfill what I always believed I was put on this earth to achieve. Then that day came…
It was earlier in the year of 2010 that God woke me up early one morning and as if scenes of a movie were playing in my mind, he reminded me of the events that had transpired over my life and how he had established every moment in time to bring me to this place at this precise time.
He showed me how he had ordained the season I moved with my children to care for my mother during a season she struggled with her health, but that I would only be there for a “few years” and he would move us again–this time to Oklahoma. Wow! God gave me two promises in that word. Not only would he fulfill his plan for my life, he would give me my hopes and dreams, he would also heal my mother, which he did.
Once again, God showed me he’s got it all worked out. We just have to be willing to see it like he does. Ha! Most of the time, much easier said than done. I’ve lived through many challenging things in my life, such as the death of my dad when I was 19–it turned my world upside down; overcoming an abusive marriage; learning to forgive myself after having two abortions; and raising two children as a single parent, with my son being born with Asperger’s disorder. So, I learned how to tighten up the boot straps, take a deep breath and ride out the storm. I was also learning how to obey without delay, and this move was going to be different than any other move I’d made before.
God, in all his sovereignty and (I might add) without asking me what I thought, asked me to move me and my son not only to a different state, but to a town over five times bigger than what we were used to. I’ve never gotten so turned around in traffic before in my life! What was supposed to be east and west, to me was north and south. Whew! Honestly, with the way the cars move in and out of their lanes, if this were Mayberry, Barney Fife’s eyes would pop out from blowing his whistle non-stop!
But we adapted–finally. What came as even more of a surprise, rather should I say, more humbling than I had ever found myself be before God was realizing he not only called me to become a credentialed minister, he called me to be a voice for his words and message through dreams and visions. I’ve known since I was 9 years old God gave me a voice to sing and would use the gift of music in my life. In fact, my life-long dream had been to sing, and I’m not talking about just singing in the shower. Deep within myself, I knew God had great things for me and he put within me the desire to dream bigger than I could imagine. This would be a huge dream for me. I was always painfully shy and quite content to be behind the scenes helping others. But God has a way of putting a fire in you that will not be quenched until your destiny is fulfilled. Even so, my life choices would put those dreams on the shelf. Not that I stopped singing. I never stopped completely. But the motivation and direction changed, and I found myself in a holding pattern for many years. I then embarked on the journey of allowing and trusting God to do in me what was necessary for me to do what he put me on this earth to do. This journey would require me to allow him to cleanse and heal my soul. Not a journey for the faint of heart. Not a journey He asks us to do on our own either.
Even through all the ups and downs, God told me he had not changed his mind and I would sing, but he had actually called me to do much more than just sing. God told me to speak the words he would give me to speak at his choosing and to whom he chose to send me. The thought of this was surreal. Some say the times of the prophets passed long ago, like back in the days of the Old Testament long ago. Others embrace the fact that God is still very present with us today and speaks to us through his word, his creation–and his prophets. When did I become a prophet? According to God, before I was born. Looking back, I guess I’ve always been one, for as long as I can remember. Not that I clearly understood it you understand. Nope. Too much would come about to pull me away from the knowledge of that truth for quite a while. I would say my life finally started making sense to me when I finally came to terms with “The Call.” What I do know is God chooses such as that. We do not. As God started rolling the footage of the movie of my life and putting the pieces together, I once again realized it really wasn’t about me at all. It never had been. My life had been about him positioning me, preparing me, restoring and establishing me for such a time as this to be a voice to the nations, and this he planned long before we moved to Oklahoma.
So where was I?? I’ve heard myself say many times, “I’m waiting on God.” In truth, he was waiting on me. Like so many of us, I was taking care of my family and working to do my best to bring light into this world of darkness in my area of influence. At the same time, missing it like a shot in the dark. Learning can be hard. Growing through transition can be harder and even lonely. We all need guidance. We all need understanding. We all need teaching. It behooves us all to pray for one another and not criticize. We are one step ahead of the game when we allow God to take us where he wants us to be in order to receive the instruction, teaching, counsel and encouragement we need to fulfill our destiny. What I do know for sure–God is faithful to never leave us or turn away from us.
This is why I named this blog Every New Beginning. Because, with each new day, we have a new beginning. Some dramatic, some not so much. But with each one, we face the challenge of choosing to rise up in newness of life or be pulled down into complacency and defeat. So, on this blog, there will be more about me, my story, what I think and more importantly, what God wants us to know in this season. So…regardless of what your thoughts on these matters may be, I hope this is your take-away: This is my story. This is my song. Praising my Savior, all the day long. Hope you enjoy.
©2017 Katrina Stanley
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